Showing posts with label social metrics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label social metrics. Show all posts

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Breech Klout


"... in heart I'm an American artist, and I have no guilt.
I seek pleasure. I seek the nerves under your skin.
The narrow archway; the layers; the scroll of ancient lettuce.
We worship the flaw, the belly, the belly, the mole on the belly of an exquisite whore.
He spared the child and spoiled the rod. I have not sold myself to God."

                 - Patti Smith, Babelogue



You Monetizers, you creepy-crawly Marketeers, you incessant leeches on the creativity of others; you who equate figuring out some little math trick to confine, quantize, qualify or judge worthy to receive your splendid trinkets in return for my soul and the soul of my friends; you craven carpetbaggers, you thieves of culture, you reducers of human motivation to snapping at mackerals like a trained seal, you pimps of prostitution; I see you.


My friends are not for sale; nor are they for worming your way into my life by using them. I've watched you do it to the Web and I won't sit and watch you do it to the social network this time without saying something.

Q. At what time does "social media" and "social metrics" become social engineering?









Why Klout Is Dangerous [Business 2 Community]


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Klouting Klout - Social Metrics Fun!

Today on Twitter we had a lot of fun with Klout.

It started out with a few people mentioning they had "+K"'d some peeps... and then Lady Sakai started things off with this tweet:

so if we mention @klout do we get more #klout ? If you #klout me should I #klout you? & how do we #klout @klout ?


Well, how could I resist? I tweeted back:

@Lady "Mommy! Lady S is klouting me!" "I told you not to klout each other!. Klouting is not nice; someone could get hurt. Klout. Klout


... which just seemed to open the floodgates... participating were Lady Sakai, Gypsy Quixote, ideajuice, Whiskey Day, Anthony Hocken, Inara Pey... and it went like this:


#klout me babey Oh yeah ... ok that just sounded wrong no #klout for me Im guessing? Is there something like #klout porn? [LS]

@Lady "He slowly removed his breech KLOUT, and she was hypnotized; she felt like she had just been KLOUTED between the eyes." [MS]

@miso @Lady You two klout that out! [GQ]

@miso that just earned you a #klout in the #klout corner Missy wannabe #klout *taps #klout foot* [LS]

@Lady just gave Lady S a +K in Klout on Klout. [MS]

@Gypsy mind your own #klout ther Mister. Stop hogging our #klouts [LS]

@Lady @misosusanowa How 'bout cloud klout? Can we work it out? [GQ]

@Gypsy thas gonna be mah new Rapper Name: Cloud Klout. Or punk band. Or Indian name. Or something. [MS]

@Lady @miso Hey You! Get off of my klout! [GQ]

@Gypsy Cause I've seen Klout from both sides now. [MS]

@miso oooo babe .. oh #klout me right now, I want you #klout so bad I wanna scream #KLOUT [LS]

@Lady@miso We can work it klout, we can work it klout. [GQ]

Lady @miso You mean "how much klout could a cloud klout klout if a cloud klout could klout klout"? [GQ]

@Anthony wot? dont leave #klout out it will feel all left #klout cc: @Inara [LS]


@Gypsy aaiiyeee! *gives Gypsy +K on cloud klout on Klout* [MS]

@Lady Klout sounds like a medical affliction to me :-D [AH]


@Anthony "Damn this leg! Got a touch of the klout" [MS]

@miso @Lady @Gypsy Will you Klouts stop Klouting around? some of us are trying to work! [IP]

@miso Send in the klout, there oughta be klout. [GQ]


@Gypsy @Anthony @Lady so, the term "breech klout" now has a new meaning to me... [MS]

@Inara aw you #klout us you really really #klout us \o/ cc: @misos @Gypsy [LS]

Klout: side effects include inflated sense of importance, paranoia, premature ejaculation, incessant boasting, and sometimes death. [WD]

I gave +K to Zanesville Monkey on Cloud Klout. [GQ]

@Whiskey I just gave Whisky a +K in Medicine on Klout [MS]


I had done a kinda-lame Queen parody but Ideajuice did a much better one so here's his:

@miso Webbie you're a voice make a big noise phishin for the noobs gonna be a big site someday, you got Flash in your space,

@miso big disgrace, and lots of ad banners all over the place :-) [IJ]

@idea WE WILL WE WILL KLOUT YOU! [MS]



@Lady Oh YEAH, you really Klout me now! you got me so I can't sleep at night! YOU REALLY KLOUT ME! YOU REALLY KLOUT ME! [MS]

I gave @miso +K in -K Idea [IJ]

@miso *flutters eyelashes * me #klout you very muchly xxx [LS]

@Lady"When Boy Meets Klout" a new series on Some Cable Network [MS]

@Lady @Idea @Anthony @Whiskey @Gypsy @Inara American Express... don't leave Klout without it. [MS]


... so that was today's fun with Skewing Social Networking Metrics. I needed that laugh! Thx friends :)

*** and a late entry due to time constraints from Lalo:

@miso @Anthony #Klout, klout, let it all out, these are the things I can do without, come on... I'm talkin' to you, come on.

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